Annoying SMS

→ Management Lesson

You spent 100% assets on your wife and get 10% satisfaction.

on the added hand

You spent 10% assets on your adherent and get 100% satisfaction.

your money, your decision.

→ Mallika's T-shirt had a account of a CAR MIRROR on it. Guess,what was accounting on it..Objects abaft d mirror r beyond than they appear

→ A Abbreviate thing

It gets Longer

when U authority it

N canyon between

women Breasts

N enters into

A hole

What is it?

1 min 2 think!

Car Seat Belt

U bedraggled mind.

→ Girl: If you get a chance,

will you ally me.?

Boy: If I get chance,

why would I marry.

→ He came 2 me 1 nite

explored my body

licked

sucked

swallowed

& had his fill

wen annoyed he left...

I was hurt...

F***IN MOSQUITO

U Bedraggled Mind

→ Define, Analysis and sociology?

.

.

.

If new built-in babyish looks like his ancestor it is biology,

if he looks like his acquaintance than it is alleged sociology

→ A brace had a activity one night.

When they were traveling to bed,

Husband Taunted:

“Good night mother of 3 kids”.

Wife Replied:

“Good night Ancestor of none”

→ Five rules of girls

1: Adulation me but don’t draft me

2: Draft me but don’t kiss me

3: Kiss me but don’t use me

4: Use me but don’t overlook me

5: Overlook me but don’t acquaint to anyone!

→ Derma meets Skin

When is that

the derma meets skin,

hair meets hair

n assurance disappear..

dirty mind

its when

u BLINK UR EYES

→ Mom: Why are you pregnant?

Daughter: This is our activity in academy about “Miracle of Life”

Mom: Acquaint me who is he?

Daughter:I don’t know, it was a accumulation project

→ If a man talks bedraggled 2 a women, its animal harassment,

when a women talks bedraggled 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!

→ What’s the bounded analogue of love?

It’s an activity done by Pol-land

into Hol-land amid Thai-land,

occasionally with a little advice from Greece!

→ Girl: Will you adulation me afterwards alliance also?

Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

→ Buy a scooty,

pick a beauty,

drink a frooty,

take her to ooty,

remove her nighty,

do ur duty,

after 9 ages get a cuty

→ Teacher: why are you late?

Student: My dad told me to yield our cow to bull.

Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?

Student: No, abandoned BULL can do it.

→ Tragedy of man’s life

Nice men are ugly,

good searching men are not nice,

good lookin nice men are married,

good lookin nice bachelor men are gay

→ One Boy To Another,

What Did You Do On Mother’s Day?

2nd Boy,

I Tried To Advice Few Girls To Become A Mother

→ I've abstruse that you cannot accomplish anyone adulation you. All you can do is axis them and achievement they agitation and accord in. =)

→ Do U apperceive the full-form of COLLEGE

C-Come,

O-On,

L-Lets,

L-Love,

E-Each,

G-Girl,

E-Equally

That’s why boys go to academy regularlyv

→ A man was searching at a painting for a continued time of a naked woman with leaves accoutrement the body, he was asked what he was accomplishing and he answered - cat-and-mouse for autumn.

→ In adjustment to get 100/100 in life,

a man requires 100% talent,

whereas a woman requires abandoned 4% talent

& the actual is abandoned 36-24-36

→ A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, afresh it see a bigger one but avalanche in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!

→ Similarities of BRA & BAR.

1)Both accept aforementioned alphabets.

2)Both are bubbler zone.

3)Both accept belted time of aperture & closing.

4)when both are opened men go crazy.

→ What did the draft say to the approach tree? Authority on to your nuts. This is no accustomed draft job!

→ Son – I wish a babyish brother .

Mom – your dad is overseas.

When he comes aback we will allocution over it.

Son – why don’t you accord him a surprise

→ A cat and a banty sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the banty laughed! LESSON: if there's a wet pussy, there's a blessed cock!

→ A adolescent babe afterwards her honeymoon

came absolutely beat and tired,

When her accompany asked her what happened?

She replied :

When this 70 year old adulterated told me

he has adored a lot from endure 50 years,

“I anticipation It was MONEY”

→ A Sex able was already asked whether a abduction is accessible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her brim up than a man with his pants down.

→ Teacher: What is the aberration between

Call Girl, Adherent and Wife.??

Student: replied

Prepaid, Postpaid, Unlimited.

→ A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, aggravating to put words into my mouth", she said.

→ A babyish dog asks astronomic dog: How ancestor looks like.

Mama dog said: Your dad came from behind,

I do not accept the adventitious to see his face carefully!”

→ There is abandoned one absolute child

in the angel and every mother has it.

There is abandoned one absolute wife

in the angel and every neighbour has it.

→ One day there was this naked man and elephant, the albatross looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"

→ A Secretary came angrily out of bang-up cabin

colleague asked: What happened?

She replied: He asked me are you chargeless tonight?

I said-yes & adulterated accord me 50 pages of work.

→ 1 day as I came home aboriginal from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you accomplishing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."

→ Boy: I like the bendable affair abaft your braiz.

Girl: what?

Boy: your heart.

Girl: I adulation the big affair amid your two legs.

Boy: what?

Girl: your bike..;-)

→ Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, decrease your clothes, bisect your legs and we can multiply!

→ Aberration amid Problem , Aptitude and Kismat

Two boys adulation one babe = PROBLEM!

One boy adulation two girls = TALENT!

Two girls adulation one boy = Qismat!

→ A man was absent abandoned on an island.

One day he adjudge to body a board boat.

Suddenly a babe comes and

man acclimated the copse for authoritative bed.

Moral: A babe can change your aim! ;p

→ In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another

"I slept wid ur mom endure nite"

D accomplished bar was cat-and-mouse 4 d added Guy's response.

→ He action & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

→ Dr: Mrs. Parveen, acceptable account for you.

Girl : What do you beggarly by Mrs. Parveen ?

I am Miss. Parveen

Dr: Oh . !! apologetic Miss. Parveen, Bad account for you. . !!

→ If an angel is green, its accessible to pluck. If a babe in eighteen, she is accessible to...

VOTE. You bedraggled mind, Elections are near, but I apperceive what you were thinking.

→ YOU! I TRUSTED YOU SO MUCH &

YOUR BIG MOUTH IS NEVER SHUT!

WHY DID YOU TELL OTHERS MY SECRET?

YOU REALLY DISAPPOINTED ME!

PLEASE STOP TELLING EVERYBODY THAT I M SO CUTE

→ Boy (to girl): What's there in amid your legs?

Girl: Hell! And what's there in amid your legs?

Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

→ Ancestor to son:

If You don’t canyon your Exams this time

Dont alarm me DAD,

After some days……..

Father:How is your result?

Son:Sorry Bashir Saab.

→ Babe & Boy were accepting sex.

Girl: Darling, I wish you to kiss my lips!

Boy: Sure, which 1 would you adopt first, lower lip or high lip?

Girl: Average lips, the ones appropriate in the average of my legs.

→ A apprehension in a branch for babe workers.

“If your brim is long, assure yourself from machines at work..

If it is short,protect yourself from men at work”

→ Lady1: How appear your bedmate is consistently home on time?

Lady2: I accept fabricated a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are actuality or not.

→ In a Hospital two Nurses were discussing

about the New Doctor..

1st Nurse: He Dresses actual well.

2nd Nurse: And actual Quickly too;->

→ Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got called as the aboriginal macho archetypal for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls accept all the fun.

→ An announcer to mallika sherawat: What is the aboriginal affair you do in the morning if you deathwatch up?

Mallika: I go aback to my home!

→ Boy 2 Girl: On which date we should marry?

Girl: 22 December!

Boy: Any appropriate about it?

Girl: It is the longest night of the year.

→ Met a babe the added day who has a seashell tattooed on her close thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can that appears to smell the sea!

→ Colour of underwear reflects your mood:

Red - Wild,

Black - Sexy,

Blue - Romantic,

Pink - Seductive

White - Calm,

Yellow - time to change your undrewear!

→ Q:Whats the aberration amid magnets and women

A: magnets accept a absolute side

→ Medical Science Says:

“Tight Clothing Slows Blood Circulation”

But the Truth is..

“Tighter The Woman’s Clothing,

Faster The Circulation Of MAN’s Bl0od” ;->

→ Mental anxiety,

Mental breakdowns,

Menstrual cramps,

Menopause...

Did you anytime apprehension how all women problems activate with MEN!

→ Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to ascend that tree.

Mother: Stupid !He capital to see ur panty.

Daughter: I am able I din't abrasion any of them.

→ Which Part...

of a man's body

has no bone

full of veins

loves pumping

and amenable 4

making LOVE!

ANSWER:

HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

→ A dentist was bent raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist bent bushing amiss cavity".

→ In academy canteen,

there was a bassinet of apples with a accounting note:

“don’t yield added than 1, God is watching!”

A little added there was a box of choclates,

a annoying adolescent wrote:

“Take as abounding as u want. God is watching the apples”

→ Wives r admission calls,

Lovers r approachable calls,

Aunties r Toll-free calls,

Callgirls r Roaming calls,

Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

→ It’s abbreviate thing, gets best if u authority it, and canyon amid women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?